My Immortal
by IfYouLovedMe
Summary: Angsty little one-shot. Erza's feelings for Jellal and how she copes with his arrest. Inspired by the cover photo and the Evanescence song My Immortal which is featured.


**So, go easy on me, I wrote this at eleven o'clock at night after reading a bunch of Fairy Tail fanfiction of all pairings. I was listening to my radio and surfing through pics on my phone. I was inspired by the pic that is the icon for this story and the Evanescence song My Immortal, which is featured. No flames please, but reviews are appreciated. My first Fairy Tail fanfiction.**

**~Thorn**

* * *

To be honest, she wasn't sure what she thought of him anymore. Everything in her life seemed to run together-missions, parties, nakama, their thoughts and hers, it was all one jumbled mess. That left little time for contemplation of her deeper self.

_I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave  
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone_

It was haunting to think of the look on his face as they'd dragged him away, to be forever alone in prison. And then... When he's remembered her hair color... When the time that often eluded her came into her grasp, she was left to wonder why everything had ended the way it had; why he had gone from the sweet, caring boy she had met to talking of the deaths of many for the so-called 'freedom that does not exist in this world.'

_These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me_

Ultimately, every thought led her back to a central source: she was weak. She had been unable to protect herself or anyone else, and he had taken the fall for it. There was nothing she could do now but hurt for the pain she'd caused him and all her ex-nakama, regardless of what she told everyone else... Because she, Erza Scarlett, was the source of so much pain and misery for so many people. Jellal may have been the one to take the blow and the guilt for attempting to revive Zeref, but in the end, it all traced back to her...

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

More than once, she allowed herself to dream about how it could have been for them... The way it should have been. She could see loving him for the rest of her life, fighting side by side with him to protect her guild and the ones she loved. She could see the warmth in his brown eyes as he looked down at her, feel the softness of his lips as he kissed her, the gentleness of his hands as the ran down her sides and their warmth as fingers linked through hers. The sweets words he would whisper to her when he thought no one else could hear him... Yes, she let herself dream, and they were glorious dreams.

_These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me_

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along_

Dreaming_, _it was dangerous though, and she knew that too. Dreaming was a distraction, if a sweet one, from the cold realities that surrounded her. She may have been surrounded by goofballs like Natsu and Gray that numbed the pain for a given time, but it always returned to haunt her in the end. And when reality took full hold, it was like a fresh slap in the face each time. Because no matter how hard she tried, she would never forget.

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me, me, me_

After all, Erza Scarlett _did _love Jellal Fernandes. She loved him with everything she was and everything she would ever be.


End file.
